(Scroll down to read in English)
娘の明依が生まれて1ヶ月。
国分寺にも引っ越し、新しい家に住み、新しい家族まで増えて人生のリズムが大きく変わった1ヶ月。

自分と妻の間に生まれた赤ん坊。
自分や妻の親戚の血や遺伝を継ぎ、当然ではあるが、顔や表情が似ていると感じることもある、そんな、いま目の前にいるこのぷにぷにした無防備な生き物はいったい何なんだろうと、ふと哲学的に考えてしまったりもしながらも、今日も娘はぷぎゃあとよくわからない声を発しながら同時にうんちをぶっぱなしている。
可愛い。

よく泣き、よく飲み、屁をこき、用を足し、よく寝る。
たまに笑ったような表情をすることがあるが、本人はまだ笑うということがどういうことかは掴んでないみたいだ。
少しずつ、目で私たちの顔や周りのものを追うようになってきている。

毎日毎日、ミルクをあげてオムツを変えて抱っこをしてお風呂に入れて寝かしつけて。
その合間に自分たちの人生の他のことも扱って。
何も考えずに過ごしているとただ慌ただしい日々。
そして目の前のこのぷにぷにした娘は着実に大きくなっており、同様に自分たちも日々歳をとっていて、そして娘を育てる中で、母・父として日々成長しているんだなあということをちゃんと認識しようと思った。

この親にしてこの子あり / Like mother, like daughter

生まれる前はどうなるか不安だった子育ても、やっていけば慣れていくし、やり方を掴んでいく。
子育てだけでなく、きっと何でもそうだなと、改めて思った。
そして簡単なわけではない。
産後1週間、病院で過ごしていた時、ミルクをあげたら寝てくれる、その後もざっくりとそんなパターンかな、、ぐらいに考えていたら大間違い。
ミルク飲み終わった途端泣き出すときもあるし、たらふく飲んで寝たと思ったら1時間後に起きて泣き出すこともある。
何故、と問いたくなるが、答えはわからない。
自分の思い通りにしようなんていう考え自体が、傲慢なのだよね。
世の中そんな単純じゃないのだよ、と人生の奥深さを今娘に教えてもらっている。

めちゃくちゃにグズる時は、おむつを替えてもミルクをやっても色々体勢を変えても、泣き止まない。
娘の泣き叫ぶ声と表情にこちらも気持ちが滅入ることもある。
でもそれを何か悪いことと認識しているのは自分であって、娘はただ娘らしく泣いているだけなんだと自分に言い聞かせている。
それでも自分たちで色々模索するなかで最近、我が子は抱っこしながらスクワットをすると泣き止むということを発見した。
夜中に寝ぼけながらスクワットするのは正直しんどいが、おかげさまで太ももは鍛えられ、何故か娘はおとなしくなる。
赤ちゃんの夜泣きに困っている方はぜひ試してみてほしい。
ちなみにランジでもOKだった。

1ヶ月間元気に健康に育ってくれた / 1 month passed all good and healthy

そんな明依は先日、無事病院での1ヶ月検診を終えて、異常もなく、外出OKも出た。
感謝感謝。
これから少しずつ、国分寺の自然に触れにいける。
この1ヶ月ほとんど外出していないので、国分寺及びなんだか妙に面白そうな西東京を少しずつ冒険できるのも楽しみ。

そしてもう一つ、告知！
以前の投稿でお話しした自分の電子書籍がいよいよあと数週間で出版する運びとなった。
思いっきりかっこつけたタイトルは「冒険の選択」。
カバーもお披露目。
ここまできて、やっぱり恥ずかしいなあという思いも出てくるが、とは言えもうここまできちゃったので、たくさんの人に読んでもらえたら嬉しい。
電子版とペーパーバック版と両方ご用意する方針。
みなさま、どうぞお楽しみに。。。

It's been a month since my daughter May was born.
One month since we moved to Kokubunji, started living in a new apartment and even added a new family member to our lives, changing our lifestyle and daily routines dramatically.

A baby born between me and my wife.
While we know scientifically that May has the blood and heredity of my wife's and my relatives, which seem evident from her face and expression.
At the same time, I would be struck with a sense of wonder sometimes, looking at this defenceless, innocent, soft and plump creature that lies in front of me, making indescribable sounds and bursting poop while crying.
It’s just precious.

She cries a lot, drinks a lot, farts, pees and poops and sleeps a lot.
Sometimes she looks like she's smiling, but it seems that she has not grasped what it means to smile/laugh yet.
Little by little, she is starting to see and follow our faces and things around her with his eyes.

Day after day, we feed her, change her nappy, hold her, bathe her and put her to sleep.
And in between, we deal with other things in our lives.
The days are quite hectic and goes very quick.
And this plump little girl in front of us is steadily getting bigger and bigger, and we as parents are getting older every day as well.
I thought we, as parents, should acknowledge the fact that we are growing each day as mothers and fathers, as we raise May.

Before May was born, we were nervous about parenting which we have never done before.
But now we are getting used to it, as we practice it and acquire new knowledges.
I was reminded that it's not just parenting, but surely everything in life is the same.
It doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
After caring May in the hospital for a week after the birth, we thought that May would sleep after feeding her milk, and that she would, more or less, follow that pattern, but we were mistaken.
Sometimes she would start crying right after her feeding session, and in other times she would wake up and start crying an hour later we put her to sleep.
We would ask “why?!” but we don't know the answer.
The very idea of thinking that “things would go as we wish” may have been too assuming.
My daughter is teaching us a lesson that the world is not that simple and that life is profound.

When she is really fussy, she wouldn't stop crying even if we change her nappy, feed her milk or try to comfort her in various ways.
Sometimes her fierce cries brings us down, but I tell myself that I am the one who perceives it as something wrong or bad, and that she is just crying as babies should and its completely OK.
Nevertheless, in the course of our own exploration, we recently discovered that May stops crying when I perform squats while holding her.
To be honest, it's quite a challenge to do squats after being woken up 3am, but thanks to this, my legs are well trained and for some reason May stops crying.
If you have trouble with your baby crying at night, please give it a try.
FYI, lunges was also OK.

The other day, May completed her post one-month check-up at the hospital without any problems and she was officially allowed to go out to explore the outside world.
We’re so thankful and grateful.
From now on, she can go out and enjoy the nature around our neighbourhood Kokubunji little by little.
I've hardly gone out myself for the past month, so I'm looking forward to exploring Kokubunji too.

And one more announcement!
My e-book, which I told you about in a previous post, is finally going to be published in a few weeks.
The title is “Life of Adventures”.
I'm also unveiling the front cover.
But sorry to my international friends, the book is only available in Japanese, at the moment…
I'm still a bit nervous and embarrassed about releasing my own book, but now that I’ve come this far, I hope many people would read it!

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